Royal Taj

Royal Taj
1845 E Broadway Rd Ste 101
Tempe, AZ
(480) 967-5234


This restaurant is located in the far east end of an abandoned strip mall at Broadway and McClintock, across from Ted's Hot Dogs and near where Z's Chicago was formerly located. Having two Indian restaurants within two miles from where I live, and very seldom having a dining companion interested in Indian cuisine, I had not journeyed over to Royal Taj, simply because it was farther away and, frankly, the luckless strip mall gives the place a deserted and somewhat lonely appearance.
Boredom gets the best of each of us, and so does the perfidy of an eatery adding cilantro to what had previously been lovely food. In retaliation for my former favourite Indian place committing this very crime, and looking to help break my compatriot's year-long abstention from subcontinent offerings, I suggested Royal Taj for the night's dining.
What we found was interesting. Despite my perception, the joint was not deserted at all. Two big parties were dining when we entered, and a few couples were also in attendance, with many looking like they were savvy to what makes good Indian food, if you know what I mean. The manager, an older woman, sat us somewhat absent-mindedly, and handed us the very long menu. A word about the menu: it could have been much shorter, but Taj has listed every dish separately for each type of meat. If you can get lamb, beef, chicken, or vegetables, each is listed as a separate dish, even if prepared the same way. What results is daunting to someone even somewhat familiar with Indian food, and downright scary if one has no idea what to order. Beers were ordered, with a Himalayan for my friend and a Newcastle for myself. Taj offers the standard light Indian lagers: Taj Mahal, Kingfisher, etc. along with the american standards and Newcastle. The bar itself is pretty awesome looking and seems to have a good selection of liquor, of which I did not partake.
When the waiter came to take our order, he gave off a laid-back attitude, somewhere between a bookie and a sports reporter, with a blousy purple shirt, longish hair, and a pen behind his ear. I threw myself on his mercy. He told me that if I ordered the Chicken Tikka, I would return. My accomplice chose the Tandoori Chicken dinner, which presented itself as a sampler more than just one dish.
When my meal arrived, on a very exciting sizzling fajita plate, I was chagrined to see deadly cilantro sprinkled all over the dish. This was the very sin committed by my other favourite restaurant, and now it had happened again. Was this a conspiracy? Had the mexicans taken over even Indian cuisine? I soldiered on, however, and ate around the stuff. The dish is mainly chicken and onions in a mildly spicy sauce. The chicken was cooked very well, and was tender, not dry, and not rubbery. The sauce was a bit ketchupy to my taste, and even to my friend's. It was exactly as spicy as I like, however: very slowly creeps in and gets you, but never overwhelming. The tandoori plate was mostly ketchupy as well, but had some sort of rolled ground meat which was delicious. It came also with some basmati and a nice sauce which we used the nan to scoop up. The nan were, unfortunately, also sprinkled with cilantro. Why? I may never know.
The final verdict? This being only my first visit, I shall return, and update when I do. Overall, I did enjoy the atmosphere and the staff. The food was good, but I would like to see what they do with lamb and yogurt and pooris. Unfortunately, I don't have the budget to order one of everything and taste them all (donations accepted!). I will say that if you love Indian food, and are in the neighborhood, definitely check them out-- but ask them to hold the cilantro.

Fogo E Brasa

Fogo E Brasa
4909 East Chandler Blvd
Phoenix, Az. 85048
(480)783-6060

MEAT! Yes, this was the nickname my misinformed college roommate gave me when he first glimpsed a photo of my girlfriend during my dorm days. He felt that she was much too attractive for someone like me, and therefore, in the words of T-Pain, I was "swangin." He was incorrect, and, of course, she broke up with me a few months later. The important lesson we can take from this anecdote is the primacy and importance of MEAT! Every man, woman, and child savours, cravours, and endeavours to devour the roasted flesh of beasts.
This is where Fogo E Brasa enters. Imagine a buffet. Now imagine a buffet which has a carving station with piping hot selections of almost any meat you've dreamed you could want to eat. Now, imagine that all these carving stations are mobile, and come directly to where you sit. That's right; come over to you, sitting in a carnivorous torpor, glutted on savoury delights, unable to move from the constant stuffing of your meat-hole. The image in your head will now prepare you for what awaits at Fogo E Brasa.
I'm not saying this is the sort of restaurant to visit often. Having heard tales of "Brazilian BBQ" and "Meat Buffet" for months, I must say my interest was piqued. I knew, however, that I would not be able to casually stroll in on a lunch and experience this. No, I needed to be hungry, have some extra time, and bring my favourite dining companion. Also I heard it was expensive. Well, I was right on all accounts.
Fogo e Brasa is the first buffet where I was asked if I had a reservation. That I did not, but no matter; plenty of open tables awaited us. We started with the salad bar, which is a more traditional buffet setup. Many cold salads are offered here, everything from pasta salad, to crabs legs and seafood salad, to delicious balsamic vegetables and loose olives of several types. Regular lettuce is available, as are hot vegetables and some other hot dishes. I didn't see any soups, which I might have enjoyed. The quality of the salads was good, and there were some very interesting tastes represented, with over 30 selections total. But, like Bart says, "you don't win friends with salad."
No, the meat is the main idea here, and it is brought right to the table. When the server brings the drinks, he gives you a little wooden totem which is coloured green on one end and red on the other. He places it red end up, to indicate "STOP." When the diners are ready to go, they are instructed to flip it over to green, or "GO" and then the meat train pulls into the station. Ham, bacon-wrapped chicken, sausage, pork, roast beef, sirloin, filet mignon, chicken, kabab, and even pineapple are brought on spits, and sliced off fresh for patrons. We were given small tongs with which to grab the slices as they were shaved off the hunks of flesh. Barely could I finish one selection before another was presented, and sometimes I fell behind, to my embarrassment. If ever I was lacking for meat on my plate, beans, rice, salsa and something like couscous or pilaf were available to compliment the main selections. Both my companion and myself strove to sample every tidbit available, sometimes repeating, until we could eat no more.
We flipped over the totem to "STOP" and collected our thoughts. A busser removed the side dishes and cleared the table, and we were asked if we wanted to order dessert. Now, I have seen dessert menus, dessert trays, and the like. The folks at Fogo have a dessert trailer. It is a cart which towers above the table, bedecked with four storeys of confectious goodies: raspberry cheesecake, chocolate cake, brownies, eclairs, and flan. My friend got the cheesecake, which was very well done, rich but not bricky. I had the flan, which was covered in warm honey upon serving. I don't eat enough flan to compare, but it was certainly delicious and not watery. I would rank it above most flan I've had.
As for the bar experience, we elected to get the capirinha, which is evidently the "national drink of Brasil." It was described as being like a mojito. It was tart and full of muddled lime, which was strong enough to almost make it taste like a margarita. If you like margaritas and mojitos you would enjoy this rum/lime/sugar combination. As for our after-dinner coffee, we were offered espresso and accepted. We should have noticed the machine's absent portafilter groups and its somewhat abandoned appearance. The brew was overdrawn. Though it didn't look too bad, it was definitely burnt. Not a major complaint, because it's typical of all restaurant espresso, and even coffee-shop espresso in general.
The last item we received from the staff was, of course, the least welcome. Bring your credit card, because I doubt you will have enough cash on you to cover the bill. Over $100 for just the two of us including the dessert and drinks. I've paid much more for a meal, but not for a buffet. The quality is very high for the meat, but, like I said, it's not a place to go weekly.
Final analysis? Despite its high price, the quality food, attentive staff, and all-you-can-eat aspect make Fogo e Brasa a very interesting dining experience. I would recommend it as a special treat when you want something our of the ordinary, or maybe to entertain a discerning gastronomer who is visiting from out of town.

Extreme Pita

Extreme Pita
1320 W Elliot Rd
Tempe AZ
(480) 752-7482

I don't want to review many chain restaurants, because it is mainly useless. You should already know. And if you don't , it can't matter too much. Either someone will drag you there or you will be in the wrong place at the wrong time. I'm not saying all chains are bad. Many are of decent quality, and provide reliability to people who want to be sure of having an enjoyable dining experience. But quality-assured dining is antithetical to the purpose of this very blog. That said, I will give a brief review of Extreme Pita because I didn't know it was a chain until I went. It is like a Subway for Gyros (which I always pronounced "j-eye-row" like in gyroscope, but I guess the more popular way is "yee-row" now. An east/ west coast thing?): one can choose the basic recipe and then customize it with a slew of toppings. Meat, peppers, onions, and mushrooms are grilled on a flat skillet, like a cheesesteak or mongolian bbq. Go if you like gyros or falafel sandwiches, and if you are into the horrendous "WRAP!" craze inspired by the Fatkins Diet. Good choice if it is on a limited list and time is a factor. I was in and out in 5 minutes with two pita sandwiches.
Bottom line: a good cheap gyro in a bright, clean, corporate environment.

Lemongrass Thai Cuisine

Lemongrass Thai Cuisine
818 W Broadway Rd
Tempe AZ 85282
(480) 967-9121

I have now been to Lemongrass twice. Both occasions were for lunch, as I work in the area. Let me say this: the first time I was not overimpressed. I ordered some mussaman? noodles with chicken. Pretty standard takeout fare, not too greasy, but not too enchanting, either. I went by again early this week, and I must say I was pleased. I was wary of ordering on the menu, as many items list "sweet basil" or "thai basil" in the ingredients. I have been to thai restaurants before which promised basil but delivered cilantro. I abhor cilantro. If evil took herb form, it is cilantro. It tastes like aluminum and destroys entire dishes. It has ruined half of all mexican food for me forever. I will never get used to it. I will never love it. It was with trepidation that I ordered the peanut curry from Lemon Grass. It came in a soup container, with a separate container for white rice. It smelled delicious. I got back to the office, opened the lid, snaked a fork into the liquid, and guess what I pulled out? BASIL! I couldn't be happier. Green beans, peppers, beef, and peanut-curry loveliness. I was impressed. Certainly, I will get my lunch there again. The staff is lovely, and very helpful. On both occasions I was given a menu and a glass of water very quickly. The food didnt' take long at all, and was under $10 even with my generous tip. The decor is cute, though the location is a little obscure, being in a strip mall with a few other chain restaurants in an unglamourous stretch of Broadway between Mill and the 10. Overall, I would recommend Lemongrass as a lunch stop or a quick, cheap dinner.

Spices Mediterranean Kitchen

Spices Mediterranean Kitchen
4040 W Ray Rd Ste 12
Chandler AZ 85226
(480) 491-4777
http://www.spicesmk.com


The name is Spices, but I only tasted one: Allspice, and lots of it. Walking in, my hetero lifemate and I were greeted by extremely LOUD dance music on the radio. Not to be racist, but there were no Mediterranean people in attendance, just several shaggy local high school youths of decidedly waspish origin. We started with an appetizer of hummus. What could be simpler? Apparently not this. Pine nuts had found their way in, along with a pool of olive oil in place of tahini in the hummus. The hummus was good. Nothing special, like it could have been from anywhere. I ordered lamb/ beef shawarma as a plate, which came with rice and "Mediterranean Salad." The salad was 10 parts diced cukes to 1 part diced tomato. The rice was saffron coloured/ flavoured and really not bad at all for what it was. I found the tahini. It was in a little cup accompanying the entrees. Why here, I am not sure. The shawarma had the effect of being the cheapest fajita meat coated with so much allspice as to destroy its flavour, and then nearly blackened to remove what remained. I'm not sure if it was lamb or not, but it was gristly. My companion went for his favourite: falafel. If one has any doubt about how falafel is made, I can tell you right now that this establishment assuredly FRIES it. Greasy is an understatement, and again, allspice in generous amounts. There were no additonal pitas served with the meal, just one each which came with the hummus. We were both hungry, so we stayed and played, but had it been purely an aesthetic trip, we might have left. Combined with the fact that the staff was packing up around us, putting chairs up onto tables as we dined, and the half-fast (half-assed) order-at-the-counter-and-have-it-delivered-to-your-table a la Pei-Wei, the food will scare us from ever returning. I will say that it does taste like homemade Mid East food, just badly homemade like my ex used to do. Sigh. The search continues for close-to-home medi since the departure of Sabuddy from Tempe.